As Halloween approaches just imagine the scariest costume your boss could show up in if she or he came to your workspace asking for treats. Perhaps they might be totally scary showing up with no costume at all but here are a few that we think instill shivers of terror into most of us who inhabit the land of the undead sometimes called organizations:
- The Budget Meeting Costume – Covered with random numbers that don’t quite seem to make sense. One huge hand asking for more treats while the other hand slaps at it telling it not to be so greedy. Depending on your boss, their treat bag is either giant or tiny, but either way don’t reach too far in as both sizes are lined with sharp objects waiting to stab you.
- The Strategy Costume – Primarily a giant cloud with a number of ugly heads in it. There seems to be no part of the costume that is actually resting on solid ground. The term trick or treat is also replaced by phrases such as ‘I have a VISION of candy’ or ‘I am so ENGAGED with the INTENT of ACHIEVING a full treat bag.’
- The Training Costume – A plain beige bag covering the entire body with nothing of interest on it at all. Covered in a mysterious sticky substance that the candy sticks to. Unfortunately the sticky substance loses its effect after 10 minutes or so and all the candy is left behind in a sad trail. No one really notices though.
- The Motivation Costume – A collection of posters and coffee mugs with cool sayings on them like – Dream It and YOU can Achieve It or There is no I in Team. This costume also spits out 100 dollar bills at random intervals but only when accompanied by a strong gust of air which makes it almost impossible to catch them. It is very hard to walk in this costume as it is laden with everyone else’s candy.
- The Alignment Costume – Usually a large arrow shaped thing with a picture of a flock of geese flying within the arrow. This costume is often seen in the company of the Strategy Costume and in fact they are best buddies. If you ask what the geese are all about before giving out the candy they often turn and run.
- The Performance Management Meeting Costume – Usually the ugliest costume of them all! One of those costumes that when you first see it you think it’s not all that scary and then it haunts you at night and causes really bad nightmares. Interestingly the inside of the costume is covered with a horrible scratchy material so no one really wants to wear it. However your bosses Mom has told him or her they have to wear it. They usually only get a couple of candies and just give up.
So what might be the scariest costume your boss could show up in?!?!
Happy Halloween everyone!
Author – Tom